How to Get Unstuck After a Midlife Crisis

Fess up.  More than once or perhaps right now, you’re sticking your head in the sand, pretending things are fine, resisting change, or shutting down to numb your feelings so you can endure what is causing you to stay stuck.  For now, it’s easier than the hassle of getting unstuck because that requires big scary changes. Right?

I know. I’ve hide out often pretending things were fine when they were f*&’d and resisted change even though it comes easy to me compared to some people. Watch my 1-minute video above to learn the three steps that make getting unstuck so much easier. Then read on for a full-blown action plan.

Get Still Because You Can Run But You Can’t Hide

When you run from your problems, bury yourself in work, or numb yourself with your choice of anesthesia (TV, booze, drugs, excessive exercise, excessive gambling, excessive philanderer, you get the picture), you only prolong the pain of getting unstuck. By recognizing something is habitually nagging at you, making you long, stirring up angry, or making you not want to get out of bed in the morning, you can take the first step to a muck-free world of being free and unstuck.

If you’ve ran from relationship to relationship, job to job, hobby to hobby or this to that, you’ve neglected to do the work necessary to reveal what’s missing in your life. Of if you’ve stayed in a pulse-less marriage or paper shuffling career, you’ve definitely been still enough to get a closer read on what you’d like more of in your life, but you’ve neglected to be still with your thoughts.

Many people I know refuse to be alone because it forces them to hear their thoughts. My friend Heidi Alfrey is courageous enough to go on yearly silent retreats. She says it forces her to slow down, be still, and listen to her own thoughts and only her own thoughts for 21-days straight. She leaves San Francisco, clearer and more in tune with herself, her happiness, and how she wants to spend her time in the upcoming months. Bravo, Heidi.

Imagine what you’d come clean with if you got still and shut off  the TV, computer, kids, and noise.

I spent an entire 12 months at home without TV, without dating, without running, partying, filling my calendar, chasing false dreams or hiding behind work. Instead I tapped into my spiritual side, journaled, meditated, and made peace with myself. It was the best use of my time ever.

 

 

Regroup by Surrounding Yourself with the People that Move You

If you’re changing jobs, relationships, or relocating for whatever reason, you are going to let go of some connections. This realigning or change can be looked upon as a loss or as a means to close chapters in your life that served their purpose well or poorly.  No one likes losing friends, co-workers, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, neighbors, hair stylists. However, if you look at a change in your life as a way to put back only the best people into the suddenly empty slots, oh what an opportunity you have. The glass suddenly looks half full again.

When I lost some friendships during my most significant relationship of my life, it was painful. I found myself deleting people in my Outlook folder faster than I could replace them. However, over time it proofed who my real friends were; the ones who loved me unconditionally and without judgment. Then it gave me a chance to quit playing the outsider role (I don’t belong, I don’t fit in). Instead I officially joined my church instead of merely attending as a voyeuor as I had for 10 years, I reached out to women I admired to strike up meaningful, high intellect friendships I desired, and I started screening my courters on who was a man of honor vs. who was good time Charlie.

Answer this. Who are the five people who spend the most time with and do you want to be just like them? If not, get unstuck and regroup with the five people you would trade identities with if you could. Birds of a feather fly to new heights together.

 

Remove the Fear by Affirming the Positive

Change can be scary or exciting depending on your thoughts. By dialing your thoughts to a higher vibration or positive rather than negative radio wave, getting unstuck becomes a process of manifesting not spiraling downward into depression of self-sabotage.

“I have come to the conclusion that until I find and heal the fears in me that I do not know about, and those that I do know about,I will not be able to contribute much that will not be part of the many challenges we face – such as brutality, poverty, drug abuse, child abuse, abuse of the environment, and abuse of women, to name a few.”  Gary Zukav

If you’re feeling fearful, at a loss, deplete or love or income, I highly advise you find and sign up for a prosperity class at your local university, spiritual center, through Mary Morrissey or online at through Unity for $170.

I’m not an affiliate. I’m a believer because the 10-week course taught me how to think differently about getting unstuck and how to work in flow not resistance with the world.

If you doubt the power, practice these four powerful affirmations for the next 30 days by saying them 3 times aloud and writing them once a day. Then come back and give me a reaction, comment, or story about your personal experience. You’ll be amazed. I was.

• I choose in this moment to release all sense of burden, struggle and fear.
• There is no fear in me. God provides lavishly for me and all humanity.
• The entire Universe loves me, serves me, nurtures me and wants me to win.
• Money comes easily and effortless to me for my personal use. I am a good receiver.

Are you hiding your problems so you don’t have to deal with getting unstuck?

If you agree with two or more of the following statements, you are likely to be someone who hides their problems:

• Do you mask your worries with a carefree attitude?
• Do you joke about your problems?
• Do you dislike being alone?
• Do you use company as a kind of distraction?
• Are you restless at night?
• Do you sometimes suppress your discomfort with drinking, drugs or comfort eating?

SOURCE:  Nelson Natural World

I’ll leave you with a thought from author Timothy Butler, “Dead ends become new paths.”

Still have nagging issues that are keeping you stuck? If you own an iPad, download the free app called Unstuck. It’s getting rave reviews helping people break free and get unstuck.

If you gained even one nugget of wisdom from this post, please tweet it out or share it on your Facebook page. Thanks!

Tags: divorce, midlife crisis, separation

Category: Health & Happiness