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Screw Being a Bombshell; Be A Radiant Light

[ 6 ] February 21, 2013 |

I’m not going to sugar coat it. Many things truly suck about getting older. Kissing your younger days goodbye and watching (some) husbands, employers, and advertisers skip over you for the younger, cheaper, or cheekier version is as hard to swallow as dry cake.

aging gracefully, ageism, Mary Ann, Gillygans Island, Inner Beauty, Bombshells, Being Invisible

You can always be a beauty but trying to be a bombshell past 45 is pretty costly, hollow, and futile, Shining from the inside out works every time.

Did You Get the Memo?

In case you didn’t get the memo, women of a certain age no longer enjoy these female perks any more.

  • Waking up and looking fresh like Mary Ann on Gillygan’s Island (instead picture Anne Bancroft as Ms. Dinsmoor in Great Expectations).
  • Touching your toes or striking a Kamasutra position without the need for Advil.
  • Getting the bartender to take your drink order among a sea of shot-ordering GenYs.
  • Getting out of a speeding ticket by flashing a little ankle in your Capri’s in your Cheerio-littered minivan
  • Initiating sex with your husband two or three times a week (slash that, a month) without double dosing of your testosterone troches.

    aging gracefully, ageism, Mary Ann, Gillygans Island, Inner Beauty, Bombshells, Being Invisible

    It’s a fine line when a woman tries too hard to be stunning or a bombshell. Better to err on the side of natural beauty than plastic.

Yes, ladies these days are gone and good riddance. However, your beauty, spirit and sparkle can shine so bright people will need blue blockers to take in your authentic glow.


Be More Vibrant, Less Viagra (Stiff & Fake)

I recognized my true beauty in 2011 when during an international yoga retreat my Tai Chi instructor quite unexpectedly named me “the light” of the group. It made me smile because I had promised myself to be a vibrant woman earlier that year and it felt marvelous to be focused on my inner beauty and to feel most beautiful of all without makeup, blower dryers, or any false pretenses. Just being one with the group and the rain forest was enough.

aging gracefully, ageism, Mary Ann, Gillygans Island, Inner Beauty, Bombshells, Being Invisible

It’s easy to glow from the inside out when you eat fresh and exercise your spirit every day.


I feel more beautiful than ever because every day I connect with other women, who show up slightly disheveled to our yoga classes, smiling and beaming in good health because they are at peace with who they are (and finally I am too).

As you may know by now, I recently found the courage to compete on a reality show, “The Job”, for a fashion editorial position at Cosmo among candidates half my age. Though I was the first to be eliminated, I won.

I showed up and was my authentic, bubbly self and competed for a job against 24 year olds. That’s all the Universe asks of us. To show up and shine.

I won because I demonstrated that I am, like other women my age, beautiful, talented, vibrant, relevant, fashionable, sexy and hireable. This I know and this confidence finally shows through me from the inside out (unless I’ve stayed up writing until 3 in the morning, which I often do. Then I don’t glow until midmorning or midday).

Turning your inner light on attracts the right moth to your flame. Author and Yogi Damien Bohler describes all the wonderful things he finds sexy about women in this great blog post and looks have nothing to do with it. Read 10 things I Find Sexy About Women That Have Nothing to Do with Looks.


Beauty is not in the face; Beauty is the light in the heart.

Kahlil Gibran

Join me later today (hey I’m snowed in) to learn the five things you can do to shine brighter than a Hasbro Lite-Brite Kit and the five actions you can take to help short-circuit society’s youth obsession (hint: protest photo shopped celebrity images and sexism in the media).

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Category: Fashion & Beauty

Comments (6)

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  1. That was you on The Job? I was so rooting for you, and I suspect Joanna was as well. It was a testimony to her and to the show runners that they included a mature woman in the mix. And to you that you had the guts and drive to participate. You go, girl! More of us need to stop complaining about not being relevant and start pushing our way back into the picture!

  2. I still can’t get over the shock of those facial lines! Still, life is wonderful. Just not youthful. 😉

    • I think I can handle the lines over the fatigue, but maybe that will pass when I’m over the menopause stuff. Every stage of life has it’s downers. I had acne so bad growing up I used to rush home and put shaving cream on my face thinking the alcohol in it would “dry” things up. Now I need the opposite. Humor is the only antidote.

  3. Wonderful article. ANd I did not know about you being in the competition for THE JOB. If I go to the link, can I see you in the episode?

  4. Ellen Dolgen says:

    Hi Brenda – yes, there are downsides to aging (particularly the “menopause stuff,” as you rightly noted!), but we have help in getting through it! Taking care of ourselves and our health obviously can help tremendously. There are supplements to help us with our hot flashes and not sweats (, and, well, for keeping our sex lives sexy, here are some of my V-Day recommendations that can be used for every day, as well ( Hope some of this can help women everywhere!

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